"Ooh, pepperoni's nice!" Drake chimes with a little bit of excitement, before he remembers that he's trying to defend himself, so he forces himself to go on, "...for... kids! ...Because... pepperoni is... a kid's topping. ...For kids!" Then he just shrugs. "Why don't we get half and half?"

It is the simplest way to solve most pizza-related problems, after all!