starlightcafe | Can't hold it back anymore...

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Can't hold it back anymore...

Adolescence wasn't supposed to be this difficult. Alexandria was sure of that... But she wasn't sure of much else, these days. For one thing, she was still dealing with understanding who she truly was, in ways that went far beyond her gender.

Though of course, the fact remained that she'd been openly going as Lexi for... Less than a year, now. And now? Now she learned that she had magic. It had lied almost entirely dormant for most of her life thus far, but now that it had shown herself, there was no getting around it. Lexi had Dark magic, and among the rush of anxious thoughts that had flooded her mind when her great-uncle had told her he was sure of that: What was Unca Scrooge going to say?

She wasn't sure what the answer was there, and in the face of the uncertainty and fear, she'd done what Ducks did in these situations: She'd kept everything bottled in. She hadn't told Unca Scrooge or anyone else on the other side, she'd sworn everyone - particularly Huey - to secrecy, and had started visiting her extended family far less often.

That lasted just over a week before Lexi started to feel like she was actually going to have a breakdown if she didn't tell him. And while Lexi and her brothers - and their mother - had gotten far, far better at telling the rest of the family when they left for the Other Duckburg, this wasn't the time for that, the way Lexi saw it. No, she had to transport over before she lost her nerve.

She stumbled down near the Manor, conveniently enough. There, she took a deep breath before knocking on the front door.

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The one who answered the door wasn't Scrooge, probably unsurprisingly. But it wasn't the butler either, this time it was young Jade who absolutely squealed at seeing Lexi, even jumping around her a few times. When she discovered Lexi was there to see Scrooge, Jade zoomed off- with arms out ahead and making motorcycle noises no less -to lead her to where Scrooge was, which seemed to be one of the counting rooms today.

Seeing that little pyromaniac always made Lexi a bit nervous, but today... She should have known Scrooge was unlikely to be the one to answer the door, but she'd certainly been hoping he would. Seeing someone else didn't help her nerves... Yet, when Jade was so happy to see her cousin, and then went off in such a playful manner, Lexi couldn't help but smile - just a little.

Still, it was helped, at least until she found herself standing in the doorway to the indicated counting room. She couldn't even think of a single word to say, a rarity in Lexi's case.

Jade had spritefully "delivered" Lexi, complete with enthusiastic and musical knocking with both fists until Scrooge opened the door. He gave Lexi a surprised look, though was momentarily waylaid when his daughter leapt into his arms in her triumph. Look, she got the door like a big girl! He scruffled her head, then set her down and sent her off back to play, she was likely missed by the others.

In the quiet of Jade's departure, Scrooge glanced Lexi up and down. Saw the tension in her shoulders and the worry in her brow. Stepping aside, face nothing but concern and sympathy, he stepped aside and waved her into the room.

"Come in lass, come in. Just mind the piles o' money." Normally he would've made a joke about Lexi trying to sneak any, particularly on counting day, but could already tell this wasn't the time.

Lexi both loved and hated how well Scrooge could read her - not that she'd really been able to even try hiding her worry that day. But still, while she hated it whenever anyone could see through the cracks in the walls she put up so carefully... It was nice, having people who just knew when something was wrong.

She nodded, and - her steps a bit wobbly; she was definitely feeling light-headed in her anxiety - headed inside. Lexi looked around the room, but not even guessing at how much money was being counted up could distract her properly. Eventually, she sighed out a simple, "Hey, Unca Scrooge."

The first thing Scrooge did when he noticed how she was walking was to step a bit closer in case she needed help; though he, so recently out of the surgery for the leg replacement, still walked with support himself, it was a small enough room that he could stand on his two feet should Lexi need a hand. He waved her toward the nearest "seat," being one of the aforementioned piles of money, though a more rounded one. Scrooge himself may've been sitting there just a few minutes ago.

"Hello, Lexi. Come, rest yourself." Picking up his cane from the crook of his elbow, he walked over to another pile and settled down on it, after making sure the door was shut of course. Looking at her, he rested the cane in front of him, both hands folded atop it. "Tell Unca Scrooge all about it."

Lexi took a seat on the pile of money, and a ghost of smile appeared on her face as she thought about how very Scrooge it was to use such a thing as a seat. Or, in her blood uncle's case, a lawn fixture.

But the smile was gone all too soon, as she looked down at her hands, spread out wide, imploringly. "That's... Not so easy to do."

"That's alright. We've had some practice with difficult talks o'er the years, you and I." He offered her a comforting smile. "Take your time, it's just us here and I've got all the time in the world."

Between Scrooge's smile and his words, Lexi smiled a true smile then in spite of everything. "Yeah, we really have, huh?"

She sighed, her smile fading. "Just... Just please try not to freak out, okay? I don't want you to worry, or feel guilty, or..."

Be mad.

He drew in a long inhale, though if Lexi thought that might've been an oncoming tirade she'd see otherwise in his face. It more seemed to accompany him simply sitting back a bit, stretching his legs out in front of him. Sighing out the breath, he smiled at her again.

"Whatever you've got to say, darlin', I promise you it'll be alright. I promise not to freak out, or anything of the sort."

"Okay... Thanks, that's good. Because it's not something to freak out about. You... You taught me that a long time ago."

Alright, well, there was no use continuing to put it off. It had to be like ripping off a bandage. She could do this. Eyes shut, that'd make it easier.

God, why was she shaking so much?

"I have Dark magic. It's from Uncle Scrooge, and... And I didn't know, I'm not sure he even knew I could have it. It... It seems different, how it works for him."

She opened her eyes, bright with unshed tears, and forced a smile. "I'm going to be okay, though."

The silence that followed him was rather similar to the silence that came when she first told him about being a girl. His face was neutral, and it was hard to tell just what he was thinking. Then he pushed himself to his feet, even though it sent a few coins skidding, and he needed the cane to do it. Crossing the short distance to Lexi, he reached out for her hand and pulled her to her feet, and into a tight hug.

Lexi breathed in a sharp gasp of breath, but didn't hesitate in returning the hug, letting those tears come tumbling out.

"I'm scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm scared. It's... It's not the magic. It's me."

Lexi Duck, the evil triplet. It was a joke, a playful jab at her greedy, scheming ways. But... It was also the scheming that worried her. She'd made mistakes in the past, done stupid things that endangered herself and others because of what she wanted - and that was before she'd known the power she held.

"Hey now, it's okay." He held her out, lifted her chin a bit with one hand. "Magic is magic, remember what I told you when I described my own? And nothin' about you having Dark magic has to do with you. While it may be true that Darkness may overall fit you as a person, it's not because of anything you've done wrong."

Lexi gave the smallest of nods, though her brow furrowed in confusion and concern. "Really? You don't think I did something wrong that gave me the magic?"

"No, no I don't. If there's one thing I've learned over time, it's that magic is unpredictable at best, downright capricious at worst."

Letting her go, he walked back to his pile and sat down again, somewhat heavily. Relaxing back, he set the cane at his side.

"Darkness does not inherently mean bad, or evil, or any of those things. If anythin' it comes out more from stress, and yes that's me thinking o' me own moment in time."

"Oh," Lexi said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Well... Yeah, I guess that makes sense." In the way that her life of treasure-hunting and adventure and daily craziness tended to stress her out a great deal.

She moved toward the pile of money where she'd been sitting, then paused, and hesitated... After a moment, Lexi turned around and sat down beside Scrooge, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Thanks."

He looked at her for a moment and smiled, then rested back a bit. A few beats of companionable silence, then-

"Y'know, a good while back I remember us talking about how similar we were, compared to you and Louie here. And then there's you comin' here with Dark magic, and I see in you the same worries, the same fears, the same everything I had when I," he chuckled, "well discovered I had magic period, much less the Dark."

It was a bit of a shift to get a hand to rub her shoulder, but he managed it without too much of an upset, patting her lightly.

"But you'll be alright. I know you. You may stumble some, but it isn't long before you get back up. You find your confidence foothold and you use it to climb higher, high enough to see every angle, and come up with the answer before anyone else can even blink. Nothing dulls your edge for long, you're far too sharp for that."

Slowly, but steadily, a smile spread across Lexi's beak through the comparison and the praise, until she was all but grinning.

"You're right... With everything else I've made it through, on either side, I can make it through this. Of course I can." She adjusted her position a bit, so she could spare Scrooge a teasing glance. "I bet before you know it, there'll be three ducks sharper than the sharpies in this family."

He chuckled softly, giving her a smile. "That there will be." Then, getting an idea, he nudged her gently, "Hold your hand out, like this," and demonstrated with his, keeping it open in front of them, palm up.

Lexi blinked in confusion, but complied.

"Okay...?"

Once she did that, he moved his hand underneath hers, focusing all his attention there.

For a moment or two, nothing seems to happen. Then Lexi will feel a tug, as if her magic is being pulled out of bed to greet the day. It's wrapped around with Something Else, like itself and yet not, and with the light building around Scrooge's hand now, it's obvious it's his Dark magic calling to hers. His magic built around hers, helped it up, and she'd feel it fill her body with a gentle coolness. It isn't long before a similar light grows around her own hand, and the two magicks mix together, spiraling up in wisps until it creates a dark blossom, entirely out of itself.

"It doesn't have to be scary. And, with me tutorin' you, it won't be."

The magical display slowly spun on its own axis, petals glistening as if the morning had touched them. Then he slowly pulled his magic off, easing hers back down with it, mindful of how he could tell she physically felt, when he'd connected like that. The light winked out, and he took her hand long enough to give it a squeeze before he settled back again.

"Magic is only itself, and nothin' more. Like anything else, it's what you do with it that truly makes the difference."

It was quite the little show he had her help put on, and Lexi was so distracted by it that she almost missed what Scrooge actually had said. Almost. When the words did click into place in her mind - moments after the magic dissipated - she sat straight up and beamed.

"You're gonna tutor me?" she asked, her voice sounding almost disbelieving in its joy.

"Aye, it's about time my family helped yours out." He winked, and laughed warmly. "The way your uncle got me on my feet and your mother helped keep me there, I'd better repay the debt."

Then his smiled warmed as he looked at her and nodded. "But truly, I'd be delighted to help you out." And her uncle too, he silently added to himself. He hadn't forgotten what she'd said at the start- It'd come from Uncle Scrooge. He'd have to bring that up to his twin later.

Lexi snorted lightly. "You've already helped me out a lot," she pointed out, without realizing she was about to say something so mushy. Ugh. She shook her head. "So... Thanks, first of all. But how much work is magic training?"

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Can't hold it back anymore...

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